Friday, 29 August 2008

The Internet, Facebook and Chemistry

The internet is a wonderful thing. Really. You're never alone with junk mail and malware. I'm getting breast enlargements next week. Comes with a free fake Rolex and a box of Viagra-a-like - "I Can't Believe It's Not Stiffer".

Facebook has a lot to answer for. Ignoring the draconian terms and conditions that you agree to by using it, is it just my imagination or has it turned into a more feature-rich version of Friends Reunited? And what was the real purpose of that site? Yep, it was to find all the people who'd picked on you while you were at school and rub their faces in the fact that you were now more successful than them. With Facebook you can do this with words and pictures. Here's an album showing our new car. Do you have a Mercedes too? No? Then fuck off.

It's not intentional; these things happen when you're uploading every photo you've ever taken and letting everyone who's ever met anyone you've ever met look at them. I'm going on holiday for two weeks - oh, and here's a photo of my front door. Hmm, where's all my furniture gone?

Apparently the Olsen twins are now "of legal age". This is excellent news. Beating two inane, vacuous, oxygen-thief adults to death sounds less cruel then doing the same to a couple of children. And I bet they'd still be smiling.

Having recently been to the US of A (and not a touristy part of it, either) I'm happy to relate that normal Americans are just that - normal. And American. You can't have everything. If you did, where would you put it?

In a very big box, of course. Just don't ask where you'd put the box.

It occurred to me the other day that I'd recently spent two nights sharing a bedroom with a friend who has a chemistry degree, and who has told me on a couple of occasions that she knows of several completely untracable ways of killing someone. Why the bloody hell didn't I think of that at the time?!

At least I wasn't drunk...

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